An Open Letter

Dear Michael Cera,

What happened to your career? Can you even remember the glory days of 2003-2006 anymore, or are you too busy bathing in all the blood money you got from Juno? Come on, Juno? I'll give you some credit, the script was actually pretty funny, but deep down you know it did nothing more than perpetuate somebody's pro-life propaganda.

What else have you been in? Oh, right, Superbad. That was a great movie, wasn't it? Did that movie warm your heart to make, knowing that in 2005, 41% of 8th graders had tried alcohol; did it make you feel proud of this film, knowing that in 2005, 63% of 10th graders, 75% of 12th graders, and 87% of college students had all participated in underage drinking, according to the National Institutes of Health? How did you even get cast in Juno anyway? Pro-drinking and pro-life? One of these things is not like the other one, buddy.

Your career isn't totally shot, though. I really enjoyed Clark and Michael.

Now, I keep seeing you playing your one character in upcoming movie, Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. And, as much as I hate to support you in anything that you do, I'm going to have to suffer through 90 minutes of you acting all awkward and shy around girls, just because Bishop Allen makes an appearance. Rest assured, though, I will walk out of that theater in shame.

Love,
Grrface