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As usual, the radio was on. I don’t care for country music, but I don’t get to call the shots at work. I can ignore it most of the time, but for some reason, when Rebecca came on the air and gave the phone number to the request line, I heard it loud and clear. I immediately pulled my phone out of my pocket and called in my request. If I had been in a bad mood, I probably would have given her a list of songs that I don’t want to hear every again.

A bit of back story. One of my coworkers is a very outspoken Tea Party member. Everything comes back to the government not being conservative enough for his liking, or how Obama faked his birth certificate, or how much he hates welfare. I hear this all day long, and it’s a lot harder to block out than the radio. I can’t stand talking about politics because it just makes me angry, and it’s worse to try and have any sort of discussion with somebody who once told me that I am “what’s wrong with this country” because I have more liberal views.

This particular coworker also **really** hates Hurt by Johnny Cash. It comes on the radio every once in awhile, and he just stands there and grumbles about how it’s the worst song in the world, etc. So, of course, that’s the song that I called and requested. It must have been a slow day on the request line because it was the very next song to play. I cranked the volume on the stereo, then sneakily recorded his reaction.

“I HATE this song!” he said, staring at me eyes so big that they almost popped out of his face.

Bam! Did he bring up Obamacare at all the rest of the day? No. No he did not. Mission accomplished, indeed.

Maybe I should document a year of being as awesome as I can.

Lately, I’ve been in a very dark place. I know that upping my meds won’t work because it’s not from my depression (although remembering to take them every day might help a bit), it’s just…the situation? I feel like everything is a mess. I’ve been trying to make changes, little things to make me happier. I got a fun haircut, and dyed it back to my normal medium-blonde. I fixed up my coffee table, removing (destroying) the old tile, sanding it, staining it, and laying beautiful new stone tile. Am I happy with these changes? Absolutely. But no matter what, the small things that I do aren’t going to make me happy in the long run because they’re not what’s making me so unhappy in the first place. I don’t know why I don’t just lay it all out there because it’s not a secret from any of you anyway, but publicly admitting it, even if nobody ever sees it, just feels too much like admitting to a huge mistake. I prefer to think of it more like taking a really long test-drive before pulling back into the lot and saying “nah.”

I got myself into this mess, and I AM going to get myself of it as soon as I can. Sometimes, taking it even one day at a time seems like too much. Ruhiyyih told me that her motto for running is “one step at a time” and I really like it. I just wish that the time for starting over was today. One breath at a time. One second. One smile, one laugh.

I don’t even know how to explain this. I’m sure if this is something that everybody does or not, but it’s like there’s a perfect song for every moment, and sometimes, I’ll be having a conversation or overhearing somebody else’s, maybe I’ll just be doing something with my hands, and in the back of my mind, I’m often reminded of a song that would go just perfect in the situation if life were like a movie and music just suddenly started playing all the time. Everything in my head always comes back to music.

I wonder if everybody has something like that.

I’ve very glad it’s Friday. It wasn’t a very good week, and I”m looking forward to this weekend, where I will hopefully get some more rest before I take my dog to the park and try to teach him to play soccer. I don’t think he’ll be very good at it, but it will at least knock some of the energy out of him. I just hope he doesn’t pop my ball.

At work today, I spent three hours shredding old documents. It was nice having something that kept my hands busy, but left my mind free to wander. It’s nice getting a break from the mental gymnastics of insurance cards and figuring out horrible doctor handwriting. Though after about an hour, I started getting a headache, so the whirring of the blades started to get on my nerves. Thanks to Excedrin Migraine, I was back to work in no time!

Ok, 10:45 pm. Maybe I’ll go curl up in bed and try to fall asleep. Or, more likely, I’ll pull out my Nook and screw around on the internet until the wee hours.

It’s bittersweet being home. I packed so much adventure and experience into such a short span that my head is still spinning from it all, and I have some lovely pictures and memories to sort through right now. I’d have more little souvenirs, like the rocks I stole from national parks and keychains I bought from various vendors, but until I figure out what state my suitcase is currently located, those will have to wait. I missed one of my connecting flights in whatever state it was, and somehow, my bag was lost in the scramble. On the upside, I had a lot less crap to lug up the stairs to my second-story apartment when I got home.

Ruhiyyih and I decided that we’re going to take a road trip every few years, and I’m already looking forward to planning our next adventure. We’re thinking about picking a coast and visiting lighthouses, which sounds so awesome to me. I sort of fell in love with lighthouses when I was in Oregon, and it was probably one of the top three things on the Most Awesome List from this vacation.

But for now, I’m just sitting on my bed, the cats crawling all over my travel bags, trying to figure out whatever animal smells I encountered on my travels. Until my next adventure, I’m going to have to make do with what I have here in this small town. Like I said, it’s bittersweet.

I can’t even think about anything except this trip. I am so freaking excited. I just hope that I get over this stupid sickness first.

Work has been lame. I wish my job was more interesting sometimes because counting to 30 over and over gets kind of dull. The only variety I get is when I have to deal with insurance problems If my coworkers weren’t such awesome people, I would probably take up the weekly job offer I get from one of our competitors. It would be a change, at least. I’m getting burned out lately, and that’s no fun.

The TV is on in the background right now, and I just found out they’re making another American Pie movie. Seriously? The only movie that’s coming out that I have any desire to see is The Hunger Games, and I’m so bad at going to movies that I don’t even remember the last time I went out to a movie. I always forget that I want to see something until it’s already out of the theater, and most of my friends around here just want to watch Twilight or whatever piece of shit Nicholas Sparks thought of while he was taking his most recent bubble bath.

The current fill-in pharmacist at work has identical twin daughters, so when we slowed down, I asked him. He told me that you can actually have a small dot tattooed on one of your babies to make it easier. I thought he was kidding, but he insisted that it was a real thing. I’m still not sure if he’s lying or not, but man, there has to be a better way.