The Grrface

(It’s not technically talking about where I work if I don’t actually type the name of the store, right?)

Last Saturday, something very strange happened at the place where I work. We’ve all specifically been warned not to talk about it, but I’m a rule-breaker.

Links:

Here

Here

Here (if you didn’t go to the other two, at least click on this one…trust me)

A lot of people (ok, everybody) has made the same joke about us putting in a drive-thru. Every. Single. Person. Thank goodness it missed the pharmacy by a few feet, or I’d be out of a job! Nobody was hurt, which is the only reason that this is funny. Although, for 4 am, I’m surprised at the amount of people who have pictures plastered on their Facebooks. I know that this is a boring town, but isn’t there anything else to do on Saturday nights?

I may not update much, but I’m pretty pissed about SOPA. You should be, too.

How hot is it that my husband wrote his congresspersons (congresspeople?) about how much bullshit it is? Incredibly hot, that’s for sure. So follow in his example. Write your letters to congress. Get angry. Stay angry. Stop SOPA.

Ok, so I’m about halfway through the last Girl With The Dragon Tattoo book, and HOLY SHIT BUY THEM, BUY THEM ALL AND READ THEM BECAUSE OH MY FRICKIN’ GOD THEY ARE SO GOOD. The sad part is, I didn’t even stop reading when (SPOILER) her guardian ass-raped her, I stopped reading when he just forced her to give him a bj. Oh, how naive I was two weeks ago. I wish the movie was playing in town, but because I live in such a tiny place, they’re showing that shitty zoo movie instead, so now I am forced to get a hold of it using less-than-traditional means if I want to watch it before it comes out on DVD. Stupid tiny town.

I didn’t do a year’s end list because I have been exhausted. I started another drug, which is fine, but it makes me so sick to my stomach sometimes that I can hardly stand to be alive. It’s a trade off; while the stomach problems are annoying, they’re not as potentially threatening like the ones that can arise if I continue to ignore the fact that I have PCOS, which I have done for nearly ten years, and which has already caused several other medical problems that I can’t ignore any longer. Basically, I hate the doctor I went to in high school who diagnosed me, but didn’t really tell me what all that means.

Also, did you know that there is a reality show about women with PCOS? Seriously. I haven’t watched it, but I probably will because I’m almost done with my book and I have nothing else to do tomorrow.

I have another doctor’s appointment on Monday, but I think I’m going to call and cancel. I don’t really feel like having somebody scrutinize my entire medical history for the second time in the past month, and then tell me all the things they don’t like about my body. Can you call in sick for a doctor’s appointment?

Also, because I am terrible at sticking to any sort of budget, I spent a lot of money on the new Nailene UV nails system, which I haven’t tried yet, even though I bought it seven hours ago. It seemed like a really good idea at the time, but now, I’m thinking I could have wasted that $50 on several books or a video game or a month’s worth of electricity or something.

My dog is still an asshole. He’s destroyed two leashes now, prompting me to buy yet another one. I should really just buy one of those 30 pound metal things and just tie his ass to a tree, but walking my dog is some of the most regular exercise I get, apart from walking to work, but that doesn’t really count because it falls under transportation instead of exercise. Plus, I’m kind of afraid somebody will steal my dog and then I’ll have to cry and put of fliers and offer a reward, and the fucking dog costs me enough money. I don’t want to pay somebody to kidnap him, too.

I’m only kidding, I love my dog and cheerfully spend hundreds of dollars on toys and treats, but he either needs to knock it off with the leash chewing, or he needs to behave when I take him out without one. He tends to run behind our building, then around the building behind us, and then he takes a quarter-mile lap around the entire complex. It wouldn’t be a big deal, but we don’t live very far from some busy roads, plus there are some asshole strays that are always getting into dog fights and I don’t want Marty McFly to get hurt. And sometimes, he doesn’t come home at all, and I have to chase him around the other buildings until I catch up to him, then I have to practically tackle him to get him to calm down, and then I end up choking him with his collar while I drag his ass home. Nobody wins in that situation.

My cats are…well, I’m sure they’re around here somewhere because their food keeps disappearing. I only see them at night, and then they curl up with us in bed. It would be cute, but they only want to sleep either on my ass or my face, sometimes one on each. Have you ever tried to sleep with a vibrating fur hat and a 10 pound weight clawing your backside? It’s just like a spa, only the complete opposite. They still won’t come over the gate that splits the apartment in half, and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to just take it down one day or what. I really didn’t think it through when I decided to get a dog. Not at all. But I’m enjoying every minute of it because my dog is awesome.

He's blurry because he never sits still.

Also, all that destruction behind him was a brand-new tennis ball a few hours ago. He’s also destroyed my winter coat, several pairs of shoes, a laptop charger, and pretty much any piece of paper that he’s ever been able to reach. Still, it’s probably cheaper and easier than a baby.

I stabbed every single person who sang “Dick In A Box” this month. Even people on the other side of the world. I am so very over that song.

I got some sweet loot for Christmas, such as my very first ever Blu-Ray movie! It’s not really a movie, it’s the Pride and Prejudice miniseries, which is what I asked for. Now, I have to learn how to operate the PS3 in the living room so I can watch it. I also got some gift cards and earrings and perfume, but Gabe also went so above and beyond everything that has ever happened ever, and got my Grandma Jean’s engagement ring re-sized for me, one of the two that I’ve had since she passed away 11 years ago. Fun fact: my other grandma is named Jan, and I got their names mixed up until I was in 3rd grade.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot (surprise!) and I got about 1/3 of the way through The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo before something VERY AWFUL HAPPENED and then I had to take a break and read two of the other books I got for Christmas, Stuff White People Like and Emails from and Asshole. Maybe I come across as somebody who spends waaaay too much time on the internet because both of those books are also websites. I really don’t, though. I only pull out my laptop a few times a week anymore. I probably should spend more time online to justify the $80 a month I pay for a 30 Mb connection, but hey, if the internet comes in book form now, I can be pretentious and lowbrow at the same time! I’m halfway to hipster already!

I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas Or Other Winter Holiday Of Their Preference, or at least a 3 day weekend! Drive safe, and remember to take a cab.

I’ve been walking to work all week. It feels good to stretch my legs in the morning, even if it’s just about a mile. It has been bitterly cold, though, so I had to buy a scarf and gloves, and just because I’m terrible with money, I spent $12 on a hat that’s supposed to look like a cartoon polar bear.

I’ve been feeling very negative lately, and I thought about making another hate list, but the only bullet would be The Phlebotomist At The Hospital Who Somehow Jabbed A Fucking Needle Straight Through Both Of The Veins On My Arms And Had To Put A Needle In My Goddamn Hand And Didn’t Even Offer Me Juice After I Almost Fainted.

I was supposed to go back to the doctor on Wednesday to find out the results of my labwork, but she had a family emergency, pushing my appointment back to next Monday. I wish it were Monday; I would like to know the results of all the scary-sounding things she was testing me for. So, hey, wish me luck on all the new medications that are almost certainly in my future. It could always be worse. At least I’m not my coworker who had to have a partial hysterectomy today.

I finally watched V for Vendetta the other night, and I am still so confused. I mean, I liked it and everything, but I didn’t understand about, oh, 100% of what was going on. And really, did Natalie Portman have to pretend to be British the whole time?