I'm Going To Have To Bite My Lips Until The Bleed

Things I Have Been Asked Not To Ask The Guy Who Is Visiting Us This Weekend, Because It Is Not Nice To Make Fun Of An Old Guy Who Just Happens To Be Named Merlin:

-Do you know magic?

-Why don't you look more like Nicol Williamson?

-What was it like to hang out with King Arthur?

-You totally got to third base with The Lady of the Lake, didn't you?

-Did you know that, your father allegedly being an incubus, that you are currently being portrayed in the Twilight books as something that glitters in the sunlight and drinks human blood?