Fingernails

I took a trip to Walgreen's with Gabe the other day. I was intending to look at fake nails. My last try to put on acrylics at home was absolutely awful. Since nobody who reads this is very girly, you can easily skip the next paragraph to avoid wanting to bash your face in with a 3 hole punch. Or you can go look up the new Transformers on Imdb because it's going to be a whole lot more interesting.

I bought an at-home acrylic nail kit a few months ago. I had gotten my nails done right before we moved here, and I almost immediately snapped a nail off. In Colorado, that wasn't a problem; my nail tech was really nice, and if I managed to break a nail within a week of having them done, he fixed it for free. Here, it costs $10 to get one nail fixed. $10! That's half what I paid for a full set in Colorado! I realized it was cheaper to buy an at-home acrylic set from Walgreen's than to have somebody fix it professionally. And I've been getting my nails done off and on for years and years, and I'm a fairly observant person, so I figured I could do it, no problem. My advice to you is NEVER BE THAT STUPID, NO, NO YOU CANNOT PUT ON ACRYLICS AT HOME. It's messy, and you have to be really, really precise. (Sarcasm:) Who knew you had to, like, take classes and practice and stuff?

Anyway, it was an absolute disaster, and a month later, I tried again, and it was awful.

So when I saw this product at Walgreen's yesterday, I don't know why I bought it. Maybe because it was gel nails, not acrylic. Acrylics have this magic brush, and it's like trying to spread Vaseline evenly on a dirt hill using a shovel. But gel nails! Those are like just painting on nail polish, only putting it under UV light afterwards.

However, this new, awesome kit makes it so you don' t need a UV light. I put them on last night, and it still took several hours to figure out the precise combination of tube A and tube B, but the results look almost as good as the box. There's some truth in advertising right there.

Ok, so uh...fuck acrylic nails at home, and at the salon, too, because unless you get fills, they just destroy your nails. And yay for gel nails! Sorry for being so overly girly on you.