Opportunities Knock Loud

This morning, they cut a hole in the fish bowl, right in front of the computer we don't really use.

The following conversation happened early this afternoon, right after I jumped off the counter, where I was standing to spread fake spiderwebs from the ceiling to the top of the fish bowl. (The fish bowl is where I work. The entire reception area is surrounded by glass.)

Manager: Hey, do you want that job?

Me: Heck yeah. Would you like me to write an "I don't quit letter" first? You know, rescind my resignation officially before I accept another job in the company?

Manager: As far as I'm concerned, you never did. I totally lost your resignation letter.

Me: Right, like it was a bad dream or something.

Manager: Exactly!

This other conversation happened later this afternoon, and it would be a lot funnier if you were there. Sorry.

Assistant Manager (AM): Why did they cut another hole into this glass? It's not like we use this computer for anything.

Training Manager (TM): They do paperwork at this desk. It seems like a big interruption to have a hole there.

AM: Well, I guess we can put some Halloween decorations over it, since it's just going to be a distraction.

Co-Worker 1: I heard they are going to have a receptionist start next week.

AM: I would have heard about that! They didn't hire anybody for that, I know. I DO ALL THE BACKGROUND CHECK FORMS.

TM: I haven't seen any posted job openings in the center.

AM: (Getting mad.) This is stupid! They can't do that! I AM THE ASSISTANT MANAGER AND I SHOULD GET TO BE A PART OF THE HIRING PROCESS.

And there I am, watching it from a few feet away, laughing my ASS OFF. I AM TOTALLY THE NEW RECEPTIONIST, BITCH.

Nothing glamorous, like I said, but a hell of a lot better than the gig I have now.